Carpool Tunnel - What Could Possibly Be Positive?

Well, of course, I mean carpal tunnel, not carpool tunnel. But when do my symptoms come to a head (or hand)? When I am no longer working at a desk 8-10 hours day for someone else's pay. My left hand hurts so bad I can barely stand it. I have a brace on it that I have worn during the day (or waking hours) for about 3 weeks; At night I have one that I wear that has a nice cushy pillow on it, but still has the strong metal pieces that hold my hand still and the straps that keep me confined so I can't have a normal movement to put my hair out or move my covers.

Chris calls the day one(s) my gloves-boxing, and the night one my oven mitt. Occasionally I have to put a restraint on my right hand because my right wrist will also start aching in the same fashion. Of course, both hands don't match because they didn't have the same ones at the store when we went. In addition, it wasn't like I went to a doctor to have it diagnosed and went to physical therapy for it. I still haven't started my physical therapy that WAS prescribed for my MS back pain because I haven't had benefits for a month!! I will talk to the PT when I go about the recommendations. For the left, I imagine the only remedy is surgery, because the pain will not let up regardless of immobilization and NSAIDs. The right, seems to calm down with no use.

Bright side? I am not working -- so I don't have to use them. Thank God I am not working my fingers to the bone, have to go off work for rest and then surgery, and then have to come back to work for a 40 ft pile of papers to contend with. That's the bright side. The pain is awful. I don't wish this on anyone. I can't do anything with that left hand w/o it hurting, and the braces are ridiculous. I am not sure if the MS is causing the pain to be worse than it really is, but I can see the swelling at the meeting point, so I'm doomed on that hand -- and it is the weaker one. Pooh.

But, no carpools. No tunnels. And no piles of work. Also, can't pick up stoneware plates or pots and pans. Hey!

Good News and Bad - Do you Watch "House"?

If you watch "House" this post will make sense, if you don't then less so. I had something happen today that I can't be 100% forthright about - because I don't feel the same way as Lori from "That 70's Show." She was a guest star on "House" and played someone who blogged about her life with 100% candor, honesty and also asked for her readers' opinions on every aspect of her life. I don't feel the need to do that, at this time. Even though no one had read this yet, someone actually might, so to tell you the sitch as my btvs lingo would say, doesn't sit well with me.

btw, the isn't a literary exercise in that I am trying to impress anyone with my literary and writing prowess. I can write, very well, and spell, and have done so for many, many years---if you want to read something showing these skills, by me, may I say - bite me You will not see my writing on facebook, in chat or in this blog representing my intelligence level, literary skills, or spelling ability. You will see creativity, sarcasm and wit. I hope you are ok with that, or once again, bitah mea.

Back to the regularly scheduled story: Something I had been worried about for 9 months got settled today. Not to my complete satisfaction, but settled. So I can say...ok. Good, next. That helps, you know. It is the little things. We can't always hope that everything we want will work out exactly the way we want. But to have our basic needs met is always nice. For this one, I do have to say, and I haven't yet, and I have been remiss: Thank you God for providing all of my needs according to your riches in Glory. I am sure that they are 10 people who have been whispering my name in the past few months that have had something to do with this, and I say thank you to them to. Thank you coons - you know who you are.

COBRA and Generic Drugs

Have you ever had to pay for COBRA? I have. COBRA is very expensive. You are paying your employer's entire cost for the medical benefit at the group rate. I worked for a health insurance company, so I understand the health insurance cost process, increases needed, etc. I am out of work on permanent disability as a result of a medical issue, so I know I am a heavy utilizer (no pun intended). I get it -- I cost money. I contributed to the rate increases that the employer experienced.

I am also very thankful that the President of our United States saw fit to extend the COBRA rate differential so that I have a subsidy to my COBRA rate and that I only pay 35% of the amount. Instead of around $1,100 a month, I am only paying approximately $430 a month. This will save me approximately $16,000 ($26,200-$10,300) over the 24 month period I will be forced to carry COBRA before I would be eligible for Medicare (assuming I get my disability).

Anyway, the reason for my post? I have paid for my COBRA -- 2 months - and it still isn't active! That and I have paid for a generic drug -- 10 day supply (9 days ago) $192.99. I have 2 pills left, no active drug coverage, and facing another charge to get more pills. This should have been $10 for a 3 month supply..........! I could go on to tell you the back and forth mess I have been running to get this fixed, but why? You know I haven't been sitting still, but obviously, I have been spinning my wheels -- due to no fault of my own.

Off to fight some metaphorical dragons and hopefully save another $200 dollars which ya'll know will take forever to get back. Smilles, grins, bears it and says this too shall pays.......... oops pass........lol (seriously I read that on editing......pays .........rofl!!!!)

Why I Want to Tell My Story and Why I Know you Don't Want to Know.

You can ask yourself why would I do this. One simple reason. I was talking to my mom. Love my mom. But I was going through something really rough this last month (I'll spare you the details--this post) and I relayed almost all of it to her. She sat through it silently, and then said, so is this a good time or bad time to visit (the time they had proposed in April). She ignored what I had said completely. So I got off the phone when the conversation was over and said to my husband--no one wants to know. It is pretty bad when your mom doesn't even care.

So I said, I am going to write a blog. You can read it, or not. I don't care. I need to write it for myself. My journey is mine. It is not harder than yours, but you don't know what mine is. You also don't hear what I say when I say it, so I'll write it down for you. MS is a monster and it is trying to ruin my life. I am not going to let it, which is why I decided to take control and start living it.

If you want to, you can walk with me while I try to document my journey -- and I know you don't want to know, but you may find yourself walking these paths as you grow older (much older), or you may know someone in my shoes closer to you -- or it may even BE you. Why do I know you don't want to know? Even my mom doesn't want to know...